


say you won't let go

by stone_cold_sober (chuntao)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, Soft Hwang Hyunjin, Soft Seo Changbin, soft boys who like cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 03:56:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16526834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuntao/pseuds/stone_cold_sober
Summary: five times hyunjin wakes up to changbin staring down at him, and the one time he doesn't.





	say you won't let go

**Author's Note:**

> originally written on twitter as a tweet-fic under: @soft_hjins

Schedules are hectic and try as he might, Hyunjin just can’t manage to keep his eyes open. Not when he had stayed up so late the night before, incessantly practising until he was finally satisfied with his performance; barely leaving enough time for a handful of hours of sleep before the day started anew. By the time they finish pre-recording for the music show Hyunjin’s legs feel stiff and heavy, and his eyes feel like they’re being weighed down more and more with every step he takes. Really, it’s what he should expect after sacrificing so many hours of sleep in the name of his perfectionist tendencies. Without even sparing a proper word, Hyunjin slips into a corner of the waiting room; silently curling into himself to take up as little room on the couch as possible. He falls asleep like this, unaware of the form that slips underneath, thighs pillowing his head and accompanying hands providing a comforting touch.

The first thing he notices when he awakes is soft hands pressing through his hair, rhythmic and soothing in a way that has Hyunjin practically keening into the touch. (He’s never been fond of people touching his hair, but this is _different_ ). Bleary eyes blink against the harsh light and he curls in on himself even more, trying to hide away from the approaching _awake_ that threatens to intrude on his warm dreams. He’s vaguely aware of the members around him, their voices carrying in the small waiting room. Only, just as quickly as they seem to rise, they fade into softer whispers after a stern voice from above slips through the noise and calls for quiet.

In the end, there’s no use in trying to go back to sleep, not when the lights won’t go away no matter how many times he tries to blink them away and return to his dreams. So Hyunjin gives in and opens his eyes with a soft sound of protest; turning his head to look up at the source of the comforting touch on his head. What he finds surprises him. It’s Changbin, staring down at him with an unmistakeably _fond_ smile curling at the corners of his lips.

This is the first time Hyunjin wakes up to Changbin staring down at him.

❦

If Hyunjin were to describe the way Changbin smells, he would say it’s something along the lines of this: the warmth and affection of oversized sweaters on a cold winter’s day mixed with sweet hot cocoa; hints of a peppermint surprise lingering even after all the liquid is gone. It might not make sense to anyone else, but Hyunjin doesn’t think he could describe it any other way. Not when no matter how many times he finds himself burrowing into the crook of Changbin’s neck he’s always met with the same comforting scent.

So even if he doesn’t remember falling asleep on Changbin’s shoulder during the ride back to the dorms, when he finally wakes up, Hyunjin recognises the smell; doesn’t even need to open his eyes to confirm who he’s leaning against. Changbin’s breathing is steady and body solid for as small as it is, and for a moment, Hyunjin almost thinks Changbin is sleeping just as the dancer had been mere seconds ago. But then he hears voices, Jeongin in the front seat with Changbin replying in soft tones that lull every few seconds, almost… distracted.

When Hyunjin opens his eyes, he opens them to Changbin staring down at him – smile fond as ever and eyes equally as affectionate if not more; the affection practically shining through the dark of the moon-illuminated car. Jeongin’s most recent statement goes unanswered and Hyunjin can’t help his own sleepy smile that slips across his lips in return for the sight that has graced his waking moments. (He’s always been weak for Changbin’s smiles, especially when they make his heart all gooey and warm like this). In all honesty, a little part of Hyunjin is happy to wake up to Changbin; quietly preening under the attention that Changbin seems to so readily give.

This is the second time Hyunjin wakes to Changbin staring down at him.

❦

They’re recording for their upcoming comeback, members continuously flitting in and out of the cramped studio as day turns into night. Although Hyunjin already finished recording, he finds himself willingly sticking around and slotting himself in by Changbin’s side while the rapper and Chan work their way through the new song; quietly watching the older two direct each member. In their own ways, both boys were perfectionists. Chan focused on weaving together the piece's multiple melodies while Changbin narrowed in on the rhythm and texture of each member’s performance. Of course, now that Hyunjin finished recording his own part, he doesn’t _have_ to stay. But after he finishes, Changbin extends an arm out to him in a silent request, and Hyunjin can’t help but stay; smiling as Changbin’s arm slips around his waist, hand curling gently into the younger’s side as the next member begins their recording.

At some point, Changbin’s hand makes its way up Hyunjin’s back. Firm fingers press knots from hours of dance into submission, rolling circles against the base of Hyunjin's neck as the dancer leans into the touch, affectionately nuzzling his cheek against Changbin’s shoulder. Even as he works, Changbin continues his ministrations. His thumb and forefinger move together, absentmindedly playing with Hyunjin’s ear and lulling a satisfied noise of contentment from the younger’s lips; practically _melting_ against Changbin’s side. “ _Cute_ ” is the last thing Hyunjin hears before he fully drifts off into sleep.

Again, Hyunjin wakes to Changbin staring down at him. Sleep initially blurs his vision, and consequently, the first thing he takes note of (the first thing that comes into focus) is not Changbin’s eyes, but his lips; small and soft like everything else about the other boy. “Sleep well?” Too tired to properly form words, Hyunjin quietly nods in return, eyelids heavy as they threaten to droop down once more. Even now, Changbin’s fingers are still playing with Hyunjin’s ear, gently massaging his earlobe. Occasionally his fingers brush over the sensitive spot behind the younger’s ear, a subsequent shiver running down Hyunjin’s spine with each touch.

This is the third time Hyunjin wakes up to Changbin staring down at him.

❦

The dorm is quiet this late into the night, most of its inhabitants already settled in bed to sleep the day’s exhaustion away. Alone in the living room, Changbin and Hyunjin are the only two that remain awake. They’re curled up beside each other on a spacious couch, spacious enough that there’s plenty of room for them to spread out should they desire to do so. (Neither of them makes any move to pull away from the other). There’s a pleasant silence that rests between them, both boys content with simply basking in each other’s presence, soaking in each other’s heat amid the cooling autumn temperature that slips through their dorm and threatens to chill their bones.

Only when Changbin gets up from the couch does the silence break, Hyunjin whining as he half-heartedly paws at the hem of Changbin’s all-too-big sweatshirt. (The sweatshirt envelops Changbin in a way that may or may not leave Hyunjin a little _too_ infatuated). Greedily, he asks if Changbin can stay just a little longer and the other laughs, oh so enamoured, “I’m just taking a shower, I’ll be back in a minute”.

(He leaves Hyunjin, sparing a glance over his shoulder at the pouting boy, the younger’s cheek mushed against one of the cushions with his legs curled up against his chest – it’s possibly one of the cutest things Changbin has ever seen, and his heart does a little flip for it).

Familiar as ever, Changbin is running a hand through Hyunjin’s hair when Hyunjin wakes. Hyunjin keeps his eyes closed, debating whether opening his eyes is even worth it if he could simply fall asleep like _this_ : _soft_ and _warm_ with _Changbin_ neatly pressing back strands of fallen hair from the sleeping boy’s forehead. Eyes remaining shut as he deliberates, Hyunjin’s stirring remains unnoticed by the older as his hand drifts from Hyunjin’s hair to caress the younger’s cheek with an open palm, thumb swiping in to run across the bottom of Hyunjin’s lips.

Eyes snapping open, Hyunjin quickly finds Changbin’s own, meeting them with silent unuttered questions. (For a moment there, it feels as if he’s holding all of Changbin with his gaze alone, the elder’s thumb never once moving from Hyunjin’s lips). A beat of silence and Changbin is pulling his hand back. Only, his expression isn’t one of shame, or embarrassment. Rather, it’s nothing but an unapologetic _acknowledgement_ , lips quirking up into a half-smile. And Hyunjin thinks that maybe, just _maybe_ , he wouldn’t have minded if Changbin had never pulled back in the first place.

This is the fourth time Hyunjin wakes up to Changbin staring down at him.

❦

They’re recording for their upcoming comeback

Moments are stolen in between takes, performances, and practices. They find each other in the mass of hectic activity that makes up their schedules, hands reaching out to intertwine fingers behind their backs when no one’s watching. In the swell of entropy, Hyunjin finds inertia in Changbin. Steadies himself with physical touch, grounds himself with soft spoken confessions, and roots himself in words left unspoken.

Sometimes when he thinks no one is watching Hyunjin lets his shoulders drop, hunches in on himself out of sheer exhaustion and wishes with all his heart and _more_ that the ground would just open and swallow him whole – at least that way he could finally _relax_. But Changbin is always there. Changbin always finds Hyunjin when the dancer’s thoughts become muddled, pulls him close and leads him to bed with a firm hand on the back of the younger’s neck. Lets Hyunjin become _small_ and crowd up against the older for comfort. Rubs circles against Hyunjin’s back as Hyunjin cries into the crook of Changbin’s neck. Murmurs quiet encouragement that fills the empty room even after Hyunjin’s lungs have given out and he can no longer cry.

Changbin will always be there to pull Hyunjin out of the darkness.  
(Changbin will never let go – even when Hyunjin has).

Hyunjin doesn’t even need to open his eyes to know where he is. One inhale, and another – each and every breath is filled with _Changbin_. Any remaining tension falls away from his muscles as he blindly reaches for the older, whining softly and pulling Changbin in by his waist, burying his nose against Changbin’s stomach. Still sitting upright in the bed, Changbin lets out a soft hum, amused as he helps Hyunjin arrange himself until the younger is half-situated over Changbin’s lap. Affectionately, Changbin trails his fingers down from Hyunjin’s temple, letting his hand come to a halt near the younger’s lips as he swipes the pad of his thumb against the corner of Hyunjin’s mouth, “Go back to sleep little one”. Eyes just barely opening, Hyunjin tilts his head back to stare up at Changbin, gaze dazed and glossy.

“You’ll be here when I wake up?”

“I’ll always be here for you”.

This is the fifth time Hyunjin wakes up to Changbin staring down at him.

❦

For once, it isn’t an alarm that awakes Hyunjin. Morning light filters in from the window, warming the room even in the beginnings of winter. It’s quiet. Hyunjin stares at the ceiling, blinks once, twice. An arm is loosely slung over his waist and Hyunjin reaches under the covers to pull it closer, tighter around him so he’s properly encased in its embrace. Turning on his side he finds himself face to face with Changbin, the other boy still sound asleep. Unable to resist, Hyunjin reaches out, hand tucking loose strands of hair behind Changbin’s ears, fingers lingering where they can.

Not quite fully forming his thoughts, Hyunjin’s mind flits between half formed thoughts of Changbin’s hair, Changbin’s eyelids, Changbin’s nose, Changbin’s jaw, Changbin’s lips, Changbin’s- _Changbin_. _Closer_ his mind demands, and Hyunjin willingly concedes. Moving in close (closer to Changbin’s hair, his eyelids, his lips, closer and closer until), Hyunjin’s forehead is pressed against the older’s – close enough to watch as the other’s eyes flicker beneath his eyelids as he sleeps. Too _close_ and too _absent_ to resist, Hyunjin can’t help but close what little distance remains, nose nuzzling against Changbin’s in an eskimo kiss; a soft smile setting against his lips.

Voice soft, Hyunjin speaks to the sleeping boy, a quiet profession that echoes with months of affection, “Me too. I’ll always be here for you too”.

This is one time Hyunjin doesn’t wake up to Changbin staring down at him.


End file.
